Hopefully, if anything helps, this will help you out and it will help relieve my stress. I do not often have adults to talk with throughout the week. By writing this blog I can pretend that you and I are actually having a conversation over a nice cup of coffee as we walk through this crazy life together.
I am going to give you a update on who I am first. If you have read through my previous blogs, you will soon realize a LOT has changed since the last time I wrote anything.
My life, which always seems to be in chaos, has yet to slow down in the last oh...100 years! Ok, maybe more like 10 years. Sometimes I feel so old it's insane.
I was married to my high school sweetheart but due to a 7 year marriage of abuse and unfaithfulness, I finally took the steps to remove myself and my 3 girls from further harm and any more damage.
I prayed for God to save me from messing up my life any furtherand, if it was His will, asked Him to send me a good godly man. Well, boy, did He do just that!
I met my present husband in 2009 after my van had broken down and it just so happened that he was a mechanic. "Thank you, God!" We were both in the right place, for the right time.
Mike was a single airman working for the U.S. Air Force and I was a single mom with no money. I traded him hot meals for help on my van and help around my really sad apartment. We ended up becoming good friends when out of no where, I realized he thought we had been dating the whole time! I was shocked as I had not even thought of him in anyway outside of friendship. That soon changed when I saw him with my girls. My heart couldn't help but melt.
We got married in 2010 and welcomed our son shortly after and our little daughter followed in December 2012. At this same time we received orders for a move to England for what we thought would be 4 years. God had another plan.
During this time of our lives, my husband was really seeking God and growing rapidly in his walk with the Lord. I'm not talking like daily devotions. I mean like on SPEED or CRACK for Jesus! I never thought I would use that sentence but it was true. I had never seen someone grow with that much desire in my whole life. It made me think of when Jesus blinded Paul for 3 days and then BOOM, Paul went from murdering Christians, to going out and converting the lost to Christianity. I just could not seem to keep up with him and his growth.
My husband was so on fire that I actually got jealous of his walk with the Lord and became bitter with how much "preaching" at me he seemed to be doing. I became so resentful of him that I even started talking poorly about him to my friends and I even dreaded going home. Finally, after one night, I just could not take it anymore. I was ready to LEAVE. But in the middle of my grown-up tantrum, God really hit me with a dose of reality, and it hurt. He confronted me with these words, "If you love me so much, why do you not want to hear what I have to say?" These words rang in my head so strong it was as if He had said them out-loud. It hurt to swallow my pride and realize how far away I had fallen from God in my new comfortable life. I even had to ask myself the question whether I had ever really had a true relationship with God.
Once I saw that I was the problem, things in our marriage changed for the better. My heart was on fire for God as-well-as falling more in love with my husband. One thing that you do not know about me, but will soon come to find out, I am stubborn. Not like, wow she is stubborn. But like WOW she is wrong and so stubborn she is willing to look like a complete idiot to keep from having to admit how wrong she it. Ever heard of the term Dead Wrong? Yeah, I am so stubborn it would be more likely for me to take my wrong-ness to the grave before I would openly admit it. So that was the first thing that God put on the chopping block (my own head) so that He could be the leader of my life.
I had to die to myself before I could really live.
I prayed for God to save me from messing up my life any furtherand, if it was His will, asked Him to send me a good godly man. Well, boy, did He do just that!
I met my present husband in 2009 after my van had broken down and it just so happened that he was a mechanic. "Thank you, God!" We were both in the right place, for the right time.
Mike was a single airman working for the U.S. Air Force and I was a single mom with no money. I traded him hot meals for help on my van and help around my really sad apartment. We ended up becoming good friends when out of no where, I realized he thought we had been dating the whole time! I was shocked as I had not even thought of him in anyway outside of friendship. That soon changed when I saw him with my girls. My heart couldn't help but melt.
We got married in 2010 and welcomed our son shortly after and our little daughter followed in December 2012. At this same time we received orders for a move to England for what we thought would be 4 years. God had another plan.
During this time of our lives, my husband was really seeking God and growing rapidly in his walk with the Lord. I'm not talking like daily devotions. I mean like on SPEED or CRACK for Jesus! I never thought I would use that sentence but it was true. I had never seen someone grow with that much desire in my whole life. It made me think of when Jesus blinded Paul for 3 days and then BOOM, Paul went from murdering Christians, to going out and converting the lost to Christianity. I just could not seem to keep up with him and his growth.
My husband was so on fire that I actually got jealous of his walk with the Lord and became bitter with how much "preaching" at me he seemed to be doing. I became so resentful of him that I even started talking poorly about him to my friends and I even dreaded going home. Finally, after one night, I just could not take it anymore. I was ready to LEAVE. But in the middle of my grown-up tantrum, God really hit me with a dose of reality, and it hurt. He confronted me with these words, "If you love me so much, why do you not want to hear what I have to say?" These words rang in my head so strong it was as if He had said them out-loud. It hurt to swallow my pride and realize how far away I had fallen from God in my new comfortable life. I even had to ask myself the question whether I had ever really had a true relationship with God.
Once I saw that I was the problem, things in our marriage changed for the better. My heart was on fire for God as-well-as falling more in love with my husband. One thing that you do not know about me, but will soon come to find out, I am stubborn. Not like, wow she is stubborn. But like WOW she is wrong and so stubborn she is willing to look like a complete idiot to keep from having to admit how wrong she it. Ever heard of the term Dead Wrong? Yeah, I am so stubborn it would be more likely for me to take my wrong-ness to the grave before I would openly admit it. So that was the first thing that God put on the chopping block (my own head) so that He could be the leader of my life.
I had to die to myself before I could really live.
"For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel will save it." Mark 8:35
"I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." Gal. 2:20
Our 4 years of living in England came to a halt at a little over one year when the government started doing Military cut-backs and giving people the ax. We decided we did not want to stick around and see if Mike's career would be on the chopping block. After much prayer, we decided we would take the early out offer that was laid on the table for him. Mike also felt as though he was unwilling to be a part of something that might put him behind bars as he started living a life for Christ in a more open manner. It was both exciting and nerve racking. What were we going to do with ourselves? We had planned to stay in and retire in the military, now we were taking a whole new turn trusting completely on God to provide for us.
The first thought that came to mind was to move to Tennessee where my dad lives. I had wanted to live in Tennessee since I was a little girl.
My dad owned land in Tennessee and I thought one day I would move here and build a house. That didn't come to pass but we did find our own land that I feel was all ordained by God. I love it here!
We own about 10 acre that we call home. We have goats, chickens, rabbits, cats, and dogs. We currently slaughtered our 3 little piggies and they are now providing us with meals. But that was NOT the biggest change to come across our path.
The ironic thing was when we told Jesus that we would follow him, we really had NO idea what that would mean these past 3 years. BOY did we find out what it means to be "hated, for my name sake."
We knew that we were not doing nearly enough in our Christian walk. Going to church on Sunday mornings was not living for the Lord. This was more like doing some weekly task like we had always done. Was this really what Jesus wanted for the life of one of his disciples? We began praying about what God really wanted us to commit to as we served him...something we could sink our teeth into! Right away we both though of Abortion. Yup, you heard me right! We know babies are dying all over the United States (world) and we know that God sees this as murder. Our next step was to become plugged into the closest Pro-LIFE movement that we could find, and start there.
Someone, I actually do not remember who, but whom I am grateful to, found Mike posting on a Pro-Life site, asking questions like, "Why are we trying to make wider hallways for abortion, instead of just ending it?" This person was an Abolitionist!
Abolitionism to me was scary at first. Mike did much research and found it to be biblical so he jumped in head first. I admit I saw it and said, "I DO NOT WANT TO BE ONE OF THOSE CRAZY PEOPLE." You know the ones who hold signs and preach the gospel out on the streets. I mean....I just want to live in my own bubble. With each step forward that Mike took in faith and obedience, I saw that God really wanted our family to do more than we had ever done before. Not because God wanted us to be one of the crazies, but because God wants us to be a true Christians, completely and totally committed to him.
We started moving forward with standing at abortion mills (they call themselves clinics, however in my mind, a clinic is suppose to be a place that helps the person in need, not murder them). We soon realized as horrible as the mills where, they were not the problem. The problem was the saltless churches. Where were all the Christians? They were exactly where we left them...in
Sunday morning worship dreaming of what was for lunch and who was playing football after the service. We first started talking with the people in the church we attended, about the seriousness of abortion and about how WE all needed to rise up and fight against this great evil. Bottom-line...we were asked to leave.
It hurt but we felt we would be led to a church(es) that realized the seriousness of abortion (murder) and would take up the cross for Jesus in who's name we worked to save the babies from death. Our actual experience turned out where we were asked to leave several other churches, some calling the COPS, and even started slandering us as horrible Cult members.
AHA (abolish human abortion) is NOT a cult. It isn't even a club or have a membership. It's an Ideology. AHA follow a set of 5 Biblical tenets (again you can find more out about these at abolishhumanabortion.com or find us on Facebook.)
As we have been growing in Christ and stepping out in faith, we realized we had to do more than just share the Gospel. We had to do more than just say we loved kids, we had to actually help orphans and widows like the Bible commands us to do.
Mike and I are both adopted. This side note will help you better understand how we both feel so blessed to be alive today and realize the seriousness of abortion. Our mothers loved us so much they chose not to have us aborted but instead gave us life and made it possible for us to be adopted. We, too, have felt like we should adopt a child(ren) giving them a loving home, if given the opportunity.
We began actively looking around. We started by searching websites and asking a lot of questions. I asked myself tough questions like, "What kind of kids do we want to bring into our house?" We already had 5 bio kids by this point and their safety is top priority for me. However, God spoke to me again. He told me that he loved me even when I was still a sinner. So I had to show love to whichever child he decided to bring into our path. I felt like maybe this was a call to take in a special needs child but God still had a different plan. He brought two young boys into our path. I had one
son and four girls already and in my way of thinking, two more boys would give my son brothers to play with and add healthy competition into the mix. These boys were also important to me because I found out that they were not only in need of a loving home but they are actually related to me. They are my second cousin's boys. WOW, does God have a way of working or what?!?
Upon learning of the boys' needs, I pushed and pushed to do everything in my power along with a lot of prayer, to make them part of our family. (Remember my stubbornness? This is where stubbornness is good and paid off!) After, what felt like a very long year, we finally got a date to get the boys . We brought them home right before Christmas 2016.
"I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." Gal. 2:20
Our 4 years of living in England came to a halt at a little over one year when the government started doing Military cut-backs and giving people the ax. We decided we did not want to stick around and see if Mike's career would be on the chopping block. After much prayer, we decided we would take the early out offer that was laid on the table for him. Mike also felt as though he was unwilling to be a part of something that might put him behind bars as he started living a life for Christ in a more open manner. It was both exciting and nerve racking. What were we going to do with ourselves? We had planned to stay in and retire in the military, now we were taking a whole new turn trusting completely on God to provide for us.
The first thought that came to mind was to move to Tennessee where my dad lives. I had wanted to live in Tennessee since I was a little girl.
My dad owned land in Tennessee and I thought one day I would move here and build a house. That didn't come to pass but we did find our own land that I feel was all ordained by God. I love it here!
We own about 10 acre that we call home. We have goats, chickens, rabbits, cats, and dogs. We currently slaughtered our 3 little piggies and they are now providing us with meals. But that was NOT the biggest change to come across our path.
The ironic thing was when we told Jesus that we would follow him, we really had NO idea what that would mean these past 3 years. BOY did we find out what it means to be "hated, for my name sake."
We knew that we were not doing nearly enough in our Christian walk. Going to church on Sunday mornings was not living for the Lord. This was more like doing some weekly task like we had always done. Was this really what Jesus wanted for the life of one of his disciples? We began praying about what God really wanted us to commit to as we served him...something we could sink our teeth into! Right away we both though of Abortion. Yup, you heard me right! We know babies are dying all over the United States (world) and we know that God sees this as murder. Our next step was to become plugged into the closest Pro-LIFE movement that we could find, and start there.
Someone, I actually do not remember who, but whom I am grateful to, found Mike posting on a Pro-Life site, asking questions like, "Why are we trying to make wider hallways for abortion, instead of just ending it?" This person was an Abolitionist!
(ahamidtn.org to find out more of what this is about)
Abolitionism to me was scary at first. Mike did much research and found it to be biblical so he jumped in head first. I admit I saw it and said, "I DO NOT WANT TO BE ONE OF THOSE CRAZY PEOPLE." You know the ones who hold signs and preach the gospel out on the streets. I mean....I just want to live in my own bubble. With each step forward that Mike took in faith and obedience, I saw that God really wanted our family to do more than we had ever done before. Not because God wanted us to be one of the crazies, but because God wants us to be a true Christians, completely and totally committed to him.
We started moving forward with standing at abortion mills (they call themselves clinics, however in my mind, a clinic is suppose to be a place that helps the person in need, not murder them). We soon realized as horrible as the mills where, they were not the problem. The problem was the saltless churches. Where were all the Christians? They were exactly where we left them...in
Sunday morning worship dreaming of what was for lunch and who was playing football after the service. We first started talking with the people in the church we attended, about the seriousness of abortion and about how WE all needed to rise up and fight against this great evil. Bottom-line...we were asked to leave.
It hurt but we felt we would be led to a church(es) that realized the seriousness of abortion (murder) and would take up the cross for Jesus in who's name we worked to save the babies from death. Our actual experience turned out where we were asked to leave several other churches, some calling the COPS, and even started slandering us as horrible Cult members.
AHA (abolish human abortion) is NOT a cult. It isn't even a club or have a membership. It's an Ideology. AHA follow a set of 5 Biblical tenets (again you can find more out about these at abolishhumanabortion.com or find us on Facebook.)
As we have been growing in Christ and stepping out in faith, we realized we had to do more than just share the Gospel. We had to do more than just say we loved kids, we had to actually help orphans and widows like the Bible commands us to do.
Mike and I are both adopted. This side note will help you better understand how we both feel so blessed to be alive today and realize the seriousness of abortion. Our mothers loved us so much they chose not to have us aborted but instead gave us life and made it possible for us to be adopted. We, too, have felt like we should adopt a child(ren) giving them a loving home, if given the opportunity.
We began actively looking around. We started by searching websites and asking a lot of questions. I asked myself tough questions like, "What kind of kids do we want to bring into our house?" We already had 5 bio kids by this point and their safety is top priority for me. However, God spoke to me again. He told me that he loved me even when I was still a sinner. So I had to show love to whichever child he decided to bring into our path. I felt like maybe this was a call to take in a special needs child but God still had a different plan. He brought two young boys into our path. I had one
son and four girls already and in my way of thinking, two more boys would give my son brothers to play with and add healthy competition into the mix. These boys were also important to me because I found out that they were not only in need of a loving home but they are actually related to me. They are my second cousin's boys. WOW, does God have a way of working or what?!?
Upon learning of the boys' needs, I pushed and pushed to do everything in my power along with a lot of prayer, to make them part of our family. (Remember my stubbornness? This is where stubbornness is good and paid off!) After, what felt like a very long year, we finally got a date to get the boys . We brought them home right before Christmas 2016.
All that I have shared has been, basically, my last 4 years in a nutshell. We did buy a house, and start a farm but the major life changes were the way that God has grown our family.
This blog will show you my journey not only as a bio mom but as a foster mom too, with all the ups and downs and all the dreams, screams and smiles.
I hope to see you return for more.
God Bless you as you walk in obedience to God
This blog will show you my journey not only as a bio mom but as a foster mom too, with all the ups and downs and all the dreams, screams and smiles.
I hope to see you return for more.
God Bless you as you walk in obedience to God
Praising God for you and your family. May God continue to grow all of you as you enjoy the adventures he has for you.
ReplyDeleteThank you mom! ;)
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